Haiku Tuesday – The Woes of Plumbing

In our ongoing quest to purge our home of the 1980s, we replaced the final two sink faucets and all the bathroom countertops. I know just enough about plumbing to be dangerous. Yes, I can swap out a faucet to save some money, but I can also tear a stuck PVC pipe in half with a pipe wrench and force a plumber visit anyway. After the countertop guys did their part, I spent much of this weekend installing our new sinks and reconnect all the faucets and drain assemblies. There are about 250,000 things that would have been more fun, but I finally got it done, and we are quite pleased.

With that in mind, here are some plumbing haiku.

Woe! Woe! Woe is me!
Every nut is tightened down
Why do you still drip?

Man beneath the sink?
He must be a plumber and
A contortionist.

Thirty years of gunk
Black and oozy in the pipes
I need some fresh air

What does that pipe do?
Hmm. Oh well, just add some torque…
Dang! Let’s call a pro

Doing it yourself
Doesn’t save much cash when they
Need to fix your mess

Have you experienced any plumbing woes, either through your own home “improvement” or other problems? Post your plumbing haiku in the comments.

Blog Soup 1/26/2013

Welcome to the first Blog Soup of the new year!

  • I’m on shift 12 of 14 in a row at work. Don’t feel too bad for me, though. I did it to myself. We normally work six shifts in a row followed by a three-day or six-day break. I picked up a trade and a couple of overtime days last weekend, which is why I’m on such a long stretch. It also includes five shifts training a new guy. I am looking forward to some time off next week.
  • Next Thursday I’ll hit my nine-year anniversary in Dispatch. Before I know it, I’ll be having a retirement party and taking my grandchildren to Disney World.
  • I’ve been working on our spring season race calendar. Right now I only have two big events planned, but I might add some smaller events in between. First up is a return to the Cowtown half marathon on Feb 24. As you might recall, Cowtown was my first half marathon last February. I barely missed my goal of finishing under two hours. After a more leisurely and fun half at Disney World earlier this month, I am training hard to break 2:00 next month. I know my body is capable of it. The only question is whether everything will come together to make it happen that day.
  • Our other event is a 100K bike rally near our first house, the Cross Timbers Classic Bike Rally. It starts with a lap on the track at Texas Motor Speedway in north Fort Worth and does a loop through the surrounding area. Jenny and I both signed up for the 100K ride (62 miles). So far our longest ride was 50 miles at Hotter’N Hell back in August, so this one will be a new challenge.
  • I used some Amazon gift cards to get a cool new toy, an iHome rechargeable speaker dock for my iPhone. Why is that cool, you ask? It lets me carry the speaker to any room in the house and listen to my music or Pandora. I’ll mainly use it for listening during a soak in the bathtub (no outlets in the bathtub room) or in the kitchen while hanging out with the kids. It’s maybe a foot wide and has a built-in dock for my iPhone or iPad. For such a small unit, the sound is surprisingly good.
  • Aussie tennis star Samantha Stosur has better arms than I do.
  • I was thrilled by the deep run that young American Sloane Stephens enjoyed at this year’s Australian Open, especially her huge win over Serena Williams. Stephens is developing into a phenomenal player and also seems like a very warm and good-natured person. If she can stay healthy and handle all the pressure, she seems poised to take over as queen of American women’s tennis.
  • I don’t really understand the drama over gun control. The pro-gun people are all worked up because they think the government is trying to take all their guns, which is untrue. The anti-gun people think that tighter gun control laws will keep us safe, which is also untrue. Based on what little I’ve read, the measures being proposed would not have stopped most of the mass shootings from the last 10-20 years. Even if these new measures pass, I doubt they will have much impact. The only way to completely eliminate gun violence in America is to wave a magic wand and make all guns worldwide disappear. Even I don’t think that’s a good idea, even if it were possible.
  • An acquaintance of mine decided to take out $50,000 in student loans to get a master’s in film from a private school in California. Now she can’t find a job but owes nearly $700/month in student loan payments. She set up a crowdfunding site to raise money to pay her loan. Part of me wants to help, but the other part thinks she was unwise to borrow that kind of money to pursue a degree with such questionable marketability. Just thinking that makes me feel old.
  • Screw my man card. I wish I had Lady Gaga tickets for Tuesday.
  • Jonathan had his three-year-old checkup this week. He was very healthy as expected. He measured 90th percentile for both weight (37 lbs) and height (39.5 inches). His language and motor skills are normal. We’re working hard on potty training this weekend. It still amazes me to watch these two grow up.

Haiku Tuesday – Gangnam Style

Today’s Haiku Tuesday celebrates a weird, catchy Korean dance song called Gangnam Style that has spawned numerous covers on YouTube. You can watch the original above, but only if you learn and perform the Horsey Dance. And video it. And post a link to it with your poem.

And now, we haiku:

Scared of foreign tunes?
Some thoughts need no translation

Don’t know what it means
Don’t know many of the words
But can’t help but groove

Own the Horsey Dance
Shake that booty, spin that rope
Alone in your den

“What the heck IS this??”
Thought I when I saw it first
But I couldn’t stop

I’m American
Writing Japanese poems
On Korean songs.

OK, go!

Haiku Tuesday 28 – HEAT!!

It’s been a while since our last Haiku Tuesday, so it’s back! Today’s theme: our record-breaking summer! (and no, I don’t want any haiku about the Miami Heat basketball team!)

Who needs a sauna?
You can simply step outside
And save lots of cash

Rollin’ in the heat
Faster speeds help keep me cool
Sweat will make me strong

One good thing about
Summer and the lack of rain:
Now my grass won’t grow!

Haiku Tuesday 27 – The Princess Bride

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! To celebrate, I dedicate this week’s Haiku Tuesday to one of my all-time favorite movies, The Princess Bride. If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, you need to fix that as soon as possible.

Liar! Get back, witch!
I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!
Max, he said “true love”!

Mawage is what bwings
Us togethah today. Now
Do you have the wing?

A battle of wits
For the princess? To the death?
I accept. You fool!

Your turn.

Haiku Tuesday 26 – Jonaku

Tomorrow, January 18, my younger son Jonathan turns two years old. To celebrate, I wrote haiku about him:

Happy little boy
Has it really been two years?
Love to see that smile

Your face is a mess!
Yogurt in hair, bean juice smeared
I don’t think you care

There’s nothing quite like
The way you run to hug me
When I come back home

Wish him a happy birthday with a personal haiku from you!