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Dead Man Walking

Over the weekend I saw a very thought-provoking movie, one that I’d wanted to see for a while but always found an excuse to postpone because I knew it would be heavy: Tim Robbins’ Dead Man Walking. The book by the same name had rocked my world several years before, so I was curious. It tells the story of Sister Helen Prejean, a Louisiana nun (played by the fabulous Susan Sarandon) who reluctantly serves as a spiritual advisor to a death row inmate (played by the equally fabulous Sean Penn). Given writer-director Robbins’ far-left political views, I was surprised at how even-handedly he treated one of the toughest social questions we have: the death penalty. With great finesse he shows many sides of the issue: the inmate who is nearly impossible to love, even for a nun, the inmate’s relatives who understand his crime but don’t want him to die, the victims’ families who would gladly inject the poison themselves, the outside observers who are horrified that a nun would even talk to a convicted murderer.

With her typical brilliance, Sarandon subtly weaves a very complex and conflicted character, a nun who wants to serve God and help a man in great need but who is also disgusted by the inmate’s attitude and crimes. Penn’s convict hides behind a rough, barely endurable exterior but over time starts to crack, revealing glimpses of his own fear and pain.

Most of you probably have your minds made up regarding the death penalty. If you do, watching this film probably won’t change your mind, nor is that the film’s point. Robbins and crew want you to think about all sides of the debate and the impact on all the people involved. It comes down to the age-old question of justice versus mercy, a question with which I struggle constantly. The Old Testament advocates eye-for-an-eye justice, so many Christians who support the death penalty use the OT to justify their position. I think the New Testament, especially Jesus, advocate mercy, as Jesus did when the Pharisees brought him the woman caught in adultery whom the Law said should be stoned to death. I still haven’t decided which side is right as a matter of public policy, but I strongly recommend watching the movie and wrestling further with this question yourself.

Brenden Can Walk!

Here is the first video of Brenden walking, shot this afternoon. I’m sorry if you can’t see it. I’m still new at this and don’t know how to fix it for you.

Brenden Walking

Faucet Pics

Here are pics of the faucet project. First, the old master bath faucets:

Now, the new faucets:

Baby Update

On Thursday we had our first sonogram for Newbie. The sono tech says Newbie is 2cm long (maybe 3/4″), our due date is still around January 30, and we are having Newbie instead of Newbies. I have the sono printouts but haven’t had a chance to upload them yet. Check Newbie’s page soon.

In other news, Brenden is now walking! It’s a drunken baby walk that’s a bit scary to watch, but he has taken at least 6-8 steps a few times and a smaller number several times. We’re so proud of him! I’ll try to capture him on video soon.

Remembering Michael Jackson

Today the world lost one of the most talented entertainers. In case you haven’t heard, Michael Jackson died Thursday of a heart attack in California. Surely some of the cynics will focus on his eccentricity or his legal and financial troubles. I even saw one Facebook comment of “good riddance”. Few people doubt that he was a bit unusual and made some poor choices. Michael seemed to live in his own little world. Maybe I would, too, if I’d lived his life. But I’m still not convinced he was guilty of the molestation charges, and neither was the jury. I prefer to remember him as an electrifying singer, dancer, and songwriter who brightened the world a bit.

Growing up in the 80s, my sister Lisa and I listened to Thriller on - get this - VINYL. I wonder whether Brenden will ever hear music from a record. The cover was black with Michael in a white suit and a tiger. When we wanted to rock out, we turned that record up in the game room. We liked lots of the songs, but when “Beat It” came on, we loved to dance on top of the pool table. Eddie Van Halen provided the awesome guitar solo on that track, although I didn’t know it was him until today. Michael was so cool he got one of the greatest rock guitarists around to play on his album. Lisa and I also watched the bizarre, groundbreaking, amazing video for the song “Thriller” on this weird new station called MTV. Vincent Price always creeped me out at the end with his “Darkness falls across the land…” reading. Even today, “Thriller” reminds me of Halloween.

A few years ago we attended a friend’s wedding. The groom, although normally preferring to avoid the spotlight, could do the Thriller dance. His groomsmen and friends pitched in and raised a huge amount of money for their honeymoon to get him to do the dance at their wedding reception. And after initial reluctance, he did. You remember the dance, right? Zombie-style? Hands folded down, arms extended, marching in unison for the world’s weirdest line dance? Yeah, he did it. After a while I think his boys joined him. It was coolest reception dance EVER.

My other main memory of Michael was at Super Bowl XXVII in January 1993, the only time I ever saw him in person. My dad took me to Pasadena to see the Cowboys destroy the Bills. Michael Jackson provided the halftime show. Each of us received a large, folded piece of paper in a solid color. When we got the cue during “Heal the World”, we held up our papers so that the entire stadium turned into a 360-degree picture of children of all races. Remember that show? I had a white paper that formed the background. It was one of the best parts of a fantastic day.

Yes, he was a little strange, but we haven’t seen many people with his combination and level of talents. CNN.com posted a tribute to Michael that discusses how much ground he broke in the music industry and the staggering number of records he sold. Mark Davis wrote his own excellent tribute to Michael’s troubles and triumphs. We are all poorer for his loss.

Plumbering is Hard Work

Our latest project, moved up due to leaks and other problems in the old ones, is replacing the master bathroom faucets. After reading online about how it works, I decided to buy them and install them myself. Sounds like famous last words, right? Well, it actually wasn’t terrible and would have been fairly easy if not for a couple of problems. I finished up Wednesday night with a sense of satisfaction, great relief, and a new appreciation for the plumbing profession. I learned a few things in the process:

1. Most sinks have shut-off valves between the water pipe in the wall and the supply line that leads to the faucet. They allow you to turn off the water just for that part of the faucet instead of shutting it off to the whole house. The old style has an oval-shaped handle and are often hard to turn. I learned that old style faucets, since they often doesn’t get used for decades at a time (ours probably hadn’t been touched since 1983), tend to develop internal problems. Once you close and open them for the first time in 25 years (to replace the faucet, for example), they often develop leaks on top of being very hard to turn. I needed a big wrench and lots of grunting.
2. Supply lines have two different types of connections. If you buy a line with the wrong kind of connection, like I unknowingly did, it won’t fit. Spending 30 minutes at 2:00am trying to screw the wrong connector onto your supply nipple doesn’t work. Neither does using a metal file in a futile attempt to file down the nipple to make them fit together. Asking the guy at Lowe’s instead can save you hours of frustration.
3. There’s a reason plumbers are expensive. Plumbers combine two different disciplines: uncomfortable physical labor and intelligent problem solving. Car and aircraft mechanics share this combination. I can’t tell you how many times I crawled under the sinks, squirmed my way out to check something, and wiggled back underneath. Or how many times I banged my head on the cabinets or sinks. Or how many times I had to turn wrenches at awkward angles. Or what was in the mysterious gray gunk I pulled out of the drains. I also can’t tell you how long I spent on Google reading DIY articles and looking at pictures to figure how what was wrong. Or what kind of shutoff valve I have, which is one of the main reasons I am hiring a professional to replace them instead of trying the job myself.

I am forever grateful that there are people out there who know more and can do the job better than I can. But I must say it feels good to look at those pretty brushed-nickel faucets and realize that with some help, I got this particular job done.

Happy Father’s Day!

It’s been a while since I posted, so I thought today would be a good day to do so. First - Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there - I hope you have a wonderful day full of people telling you how great you are. But this post is about how great my husband is after his first full year of being a dad - so here’s the “Observations from a new momma - brag on the new daddy edition”:

the Dude and his dad

1. From day one, Andy took the attitude of “other than breastfeeding, if Jenny can do it for Brenden, I can do it, too”. He’s changed diapers and given baths, fed him bottles and cleaned up messes. He knows his schedule and can give him whatever he needs without too much encouragement from my end. I’m proud of how well he can care for his son!
2. Brenden lights up when Andy walks in the room. There’s no one who gets a bigger smile than when he first sees Daddy each day.
3. Andy can get Brenden to laugh this great full belly laugh that you can hear throughout the house. Even when B has to stay still for a diaper change.
4. As much as it stresses Andy out, he’s willing to lend a hand when we eat out with Brenden. If you’ve been around B for very long, you know he can sit still for all of 2 seconds before he’s ready to move, so restaurants are always a challenge. But Andy helps with feedings and toys to keep him busy so that we can spend time with friends or family, which is a HUGE deal for me. Thanks, hubs!
5. It still cracks me up when I look at Brenden and see a little version of Andy looking back at me. There is no doubt he is daddy’s boy!
6. Whenever I go out for a day and Andy spends the day with B, I am always so encouraged when I come home to find a house still in one piece, and two happy boys playing in the floor.

Happy Father’s day, hubs - I’m so happy to get to do this parenting thing with you!

Legalization of Drugs

Since my last post has sparked some interesting discussion regarding the legalization of drugs, let’s dig a little deeper. Obviously this is a HUGE issue with many facets and implications. One facet is whether marijuana should be treated the same as “harder” illegal drugs such as cocaine and heroin. Another is legalization (making a particular drug legal to buy) versus decriminalization (leaving the drug technically illegal but making enforcement a very low priority, effectively instructing the authorities to look the other way).

I am far from an expert on the subject and only tonight started reading about it more fully. But a few initial ideas keep popping up as I read:

1. When people want something, but the government makes it illegal, a black market appears. Ridiculously high prices result from the risk involved, leading to huge profits for the dealers of the banned item and huge incentive for others to become dealers themselves. (see Prohibition)
2. When a product is bought and sold on the black market, none of the typical mechanisms exist for quality control, safety, or resolution of disputes among suppliers, dealers, and buyers.
3. Black markets typically produce other types of crime due to their unregulated and off-the-record natures.
4. As a nation we have spent billions of dollars fighting drugs every year for decades. Yet illegal drugs are still quite common along with their associated problems. Whatever we’re doing isn’t solving the problem. For an interesting look at our failure in the war on drugs, rent 2001 Best Picture nominee Traffic.

Obviously the preceding statements support the idea of loosening restrictions on drugs. However, other facts and theories support their continued prohibition, such as:

1. Illegal drugs are banned for a reason: they are dangerous. Many argue that marijuana is no more dangerous, or even less so, than alcohol or tobacco, which are obviously legal but heavily regulated. But few would dispute that harder illegal drugs can cause drastic and potentially fatal harm to the human body, that many are extremely addictive, and that they had destroyed countless lives.
2. Legalization would increase the number of users and some of the associated problems, such as users who drive under the influence, decreased productivity, addiction, and use by minors who might not fully understand the dangers involved.
3. Even if some or all illegal drugs were legalized, many questions remain regarding the new market for them. Who would be authorized to sell them? Could a user buy them at the corner Kwik-E-Mart, or must he go to a pharmacy or specialized store? Would a doctor’s prescription be required? Why would a doctor write such a prescription? Is there an age requirement for a buyer? A background check? Who manufacturers the drugs? What insurance company would sell liability insurance to the manufacturer of such dangerous substances? Would the drugs be taxed like tobacco and alcohol? If so, how much, and where would that tax revenue go?
4. There’s obviously a moral question as well. Should the government make it illegal to do things that most people think are wrong? It already does on many different issues, but is that right? What role should a person’s free will play in the debate? Should I have the legal right to damage my body with cocaine if I so choose? What about alcohol or cigarettes, which kill MILLIONS more people than illegal drugs but are legal in America?

If you are interested in further reading, here are some places to start:

• Ron Paul (former Presidential candidate and Texas congressman)
• BusinessWeek: Should We Legalize Marijuana for Tax Revenue?
• NY Times Freakonomics Blog on Marijuana
• Edubook: Pros and Cons
• Associated Content: Pros and Cons
• Balanced Politics : Pros and Cons of Marijuana Legalization
• CNN Politics - Cafferty Blog: Time for US to Legalize Drugs?

In case you’re wondering, I’m not a closet pothead. I despise tobacco and all illegal drugs unless they have some legitimate medical purpose. The only non-medical drugs I use are caffeine (daily) and alcohol (occasionally). I’m just a fan of common sense. If our society is going to create and enforce a law or invest in a program, I want to see a positive return from that investment. I want our society to be as strong and healthy as it possibly can be, including all the different elements of life. If the war on drugs does more harm than good, which I believe it does, then let’s work together and figure out a better plan.

What are your thoughts on this issue? I would take a poll, but I fear the issue is too complex to fit neatly into a single-question poll.