Jenny’s family is wrestling with a difficult situation. Her grandparents’ health has deteriorated so much that the rest of the family isn’t sure they can take care of themselves and live on their own anymore. Unfortunately, her grandparents aren’t ready to admit it yet, and her grandfather’s Alzheimer’s has gotten bad enough that he doesn’t seem to realize there is a problem. The adult children, including Jenny’s parents, are trying to decide what to do. They want to honor their parents and respect their independence, but they worry about their safety. I think they would be great candidates for an assisted living community. There someone could check on them throughout the week and help out where needed, but they could still maintain some independence.

If our parents live long enough, we could be in the same situation someday, as could our boys when we reach the last years of our lives. I haven’t had to think much about it before. In one sense, it’s a beautiful role reversal – the formerly helpless children become the caregivers, and the parents get help in their final time of need. In another sense, it seems like a terrible, awkward tragedy. How do you tell the parents who raised you that they aren’t capable of taking care of themselves, or take the keys away from the people who taught you how to drive?

When I am old, I will try to be realistic about my capabilities, willing to accept their decline and to lean more on others for help when needed. I doubt it will be easy for me, since I crave self-sufficiency so highly, but I don’t want my own stubbornness to put myself or others in danger. I hope that my family will have the courage to tell me the truth and fight for what’s best for me, no matter how much I gripe about it.

Have any of you been through a situation like this? I would love to hear your thoughts if you’re willing to share.