The Un-Starbucks

To conclude Date Night Saturday night, Jenny and I dropped by our favorite local coffee house, Buon Giorno in Grapevine. Jenny has breakfast there with her girls on some Tuesday mornings, which is how we first discovered it.

Why do we like it so much? First of all, good coffee and tea. They roast their own beans to ensure the coffee is fresh. In addition to the daily brew of a few popular flavors, you can also order a French press of freshly ground coffee in a couple dozen varieties. A couple of weeks ago Jenny and friends tried a French press of the fabled Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, the first time I’ve ever heard of such a thing at a coffee house. I normally order a cappuccino. Jenny ordered some delicious tea.

Second, it is NOT Starbucks and doesn’t want to be. I don’t hate Starbucks, but I like many of the details in which Buon Giorno’s owners have chosen to be different. Their coffee and tea come in real ceramic mugs rather than wasteful paper cups. They have no drive-through. The pace is slower, the atmosphere quieter and more relaxed. You don’t hear yuppies rattling off a memorized 10-word long description of their cup of coffee. You simply place your order, find a chair or couch to sit on, and wait for them to bring your drink to you. On most Friday and Saturday nights, you can catch live music starting around 8pm. Tonight we heard a great singer-songwriter playing exactly the kind of introspective acoustic rock that you want to hear in a coffee house. We enjoyed a wonderful, relaxing evening and look forward to going back soon.

Posted in Fun

10 Things We Never Dreamed We’d Say…

…before we had a baby:

  1. Please don’t fart on me.
  2. Don’t step on Daddy’s crotch.
  3. Don’t put your pacifier on your penis.
  4. Stab it! Stab it! YAY!!!
  5. I just don’t want to go out on Date Night covered in boogers.
  6. Why are you holding on to the cat’s leg?
  7. No, that bone is not for you to chew on. Chew on this.
  8. The toilet is not a drum.
  9. Mommy can’t breathe if you’re on her throat.
  10. The doggie doesn’t want to eat the giraffe.

Brenden’s Kryptonite

Our son has no fear. Thunderstorms? Annoying only because they keep him from sleeping. Strangers? Never met one, especially if they are female. He loves the ladies. Dogs? Fluffy friends known as “ba-bas” that are fun to watch and point at. Heights? No problem. If he can find a way to pull himself to a higher plane, he will. His latest trick is multi-level climbing, such as floor to Daddy’s office chair to Daddy’s built-in desk. There’s just one gap in his armor, one tiny weakness that will send him running toward Mommy with a terrified look on his face:

The vacuum cleaner.

I don’t know what it is about vacuum cleaners and small critters. Brenden hates ours. Holly hates it. Jedda hates it. Sure, they are loud, but they are also very useful and can’t hurt you unless you accidentally run over your own toe with the brush (not recommended). But Brenden freaks out. There, his secret is out. This tells us two things:

  1. We need to vacuum more.
  2. If Brenden is awake, the only way to get any peace and quiet without leaving the room is to fire up the vacuum, which pretty much defeats the purpose.

So until we can help him understand that vacuum cleaners are all bark and no bite, we are ironically forced to vacuum while he is napping.

BONUS TIP FOR PARENTS: If Brenden shows up one afternoon after naptime wanting to take your daughter out for blueberries and Goldfish, you know what to do. Some dads like to clean the shotgun or show off their concealed weapon permit to scare off the boys. All you have to do is bust out the Hoover.

When Girls are Guys, Sorta

Last week at the world track and field championships, an 18-year-old South African woman named Caster Semenya won the 800m title. Unless you follow women’s track closely, you’ve probably never heard of her. But now she’s in the center of a bizarre controversy – not over steroids, training methods, or false starts, but over her gender.

Although Semenya competes as a woman, some details suggest otherwise. Her muscular, slim build, somewhat masculine face, and large margin of victory in the 800m have led many to believe Semenya is not a normal woman. After routine hormone tests showed her testosterone levels to be three times higher than normal for a female athlete, the International Association of Athletics Federations began an investigation into her actual gender. The final results won’t be available for weeks.

Strange as this story is, the leading theory diagnoses Semenya with a recognized medical condition called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, or AIS. People with AIS are genetically male but can appear to be female because their bodies do not respond normally to testosterone. All embyroes start developing as females. During the first trimester, a normal boy starts producing testosterone, which causes his boy parts to develop. A baby with AIS is coded to be a boy and starts producing testosterone normally, but his cells don’t detect it completely, if at all. The results can vary. Some people with AIS look like a combination of male and female. Many people with AIS look female externally but have internal testicles and none of the normal female sex organs. In these cases the boy is generally raised as a girl, develops breasts on time, and never knows of any problem until he reaches 15 or 16 and hasn’t started to menstruate. Once diagnosed, the boy must work through a difficult set of medical, emotional, physical, and spiritual questions. Although the medical buff in me finds this condition interesting, I ache for those who must deal with it. It’s hard enough to figure out your identity when you’re certain of your gender.

Looking back, I suspect that a good friend of mine had AIS. She looked and acted like a normal girl but never started her period. Around age 16 or 17 she finally went to the doctor, who told her she “didn’t develop right” and would never be able to have children. In a college neuroscience class I first heard about AIS and made the connection. At first I thought her doctor had withheld the whole truth from her. Imagine what it would feel like to spend 16 years thinking you were a girl and suddenly being told you were actually a boy, even though you still looked like a girl. How confusing and disturbing such news would be. But now I wonder whether her doctor didn’t tell her the truth, and my friend simply withheld the most shocking part from me. I understand if that’s how she chose to handle it. I still think of her as a woman, regardless of what the genetic tests might say.

Back to Caster Semenya…I feel terribly for her. If she has AIS, she could be banned from competing in track as a woman since she could have an unfair advantage over the normal women. Since she’s not fully male, either, she isn’t quite fast enough to compete with the men. Her countless hours of hard work would become almost worthless, her career over, due to a medical anomaly over which he had zero control. Even if she doesn’t have AIS, she’s been humilated by the gender testing and speculation, which will probably haunt her throughout her career.

Here are some links in case you’d like to read more:

AIS – University of Indiana

Time.com article on Semenya

Memory

Over the weekend Jenny and I watched the 2004 film The Notebook, based on the book by Nicholas Sparks. Of all the books I read as a youth, The Notebook was one of the most moving, mainly because it explored a tragic situation that I hadn’t really considered by age 13 or 14: an aging couple in which one partner has Alzheimer’s Disease and has all but forgotten the other. The movie changed a few details from the book but kept a similar structure along with the emotional punch, largely due to excellent performances by the actors playing the young and old versions of the couple.

As a teenager, I remember being horrified by the idea of someone’s losing their recognition and memory of his or her spouse, especially after spending most of their lives together. To share so much with a person and then turn into just another stranger seemed so unfair. Alzheimer’s is a terrible robbery not of one’s possessions or even one’s life, but of the very things that make life so wonderful: your relationships. A few years later, I had to watch couples I knew walk down that lonely but irreversible road, matching real faces and names to the imaginary ones from the book.

Seeing the movie made both Jenny and me face the very real possibility that our own future could end in that dark, tangled forest. A day could come when I wake up and don’t remember who Jenny is, or when I come home from work and she thinks I’m a burglar. I hate that thought. The idea of forgetting Jenny, or Brenden, or anyone else in my family breaks my heart. I would rather die than live thinking that they are strangers.

One thing that consoles me about Alzheimer’s patients is my belief that if they know Jesus, they will one day receive a new body at the Resurrection. Although I don’t have any solid Biblical backing, I assume that with the new body should come a restored mind that can remember all the wonder, beauty, pain, people, and adventures gathered during their brief walk on earth.

May it be so, Lord.