Category Archives: Jenny

Socializing as a Married Couple

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I am a hermit.

As I’ve described in another post, I am both introverted (I draw my energy from within and need alone time to recharge) and shy (hesitant to speak up and reach out to others). A night alone in a quiet house with a movie or video game sounds great to me the vast majority of the time. Being around people adds a host of pressures to say the right thing, impress and entertain people, be polite and responsible, etc. As a younger man, I viewed my shyness as a liability. As an adult, at some point I decided to put on my Lady Gaga meat dress and accept that I was Born This Way.

However, I married a non-hermit.

Jenny isn’t one of those people who can’t stand to be alone and need to be out partying with someone whenever possible. However, she’s a slight extrovert, enjoys spontaneous social activities, and needs regular interaction with other adults besides me. The boys can be lots of fun and very loving, but sometimes it’s nice to be able to discuss something other than poop, Pop-Tarts, and Phineas and Ferb.

So we are a mismatched couple in terms of socializing. Now what?

We’ve worked out a pretty good compromise. She tries not to surprise me at 4:00pm by booking us for a 6:00pm dinner date. She doesn’t host parties every night or drag me out to do stuff with people constantly. We’re already fairly busy in the evening with church Sunday nights, class for her on Mondays and Wednesdays, and home group every other Tuesday. It’s nice to have some nights free to spend time together with the boys and just the two of us. These days you’ll often find me playing Skyrim and Jenny happily buried in a book on her Kindle after the boys are in bed.

In return, we try to plan time in advance to spend with other people so that I have time to mentally prepare. One or both of us go out to dinner and/or coffee with our crew on Sundays after church. Every other week we host home group with the same people, some of our closest friends. We try to plan other excursions as well, such as having people over for dinner, going to sporting events or shows, and various parties for birthdays and other celebrations. It’s cool with me as long as I know in advance and get some recharge time soon before or after. With the boys and school, we aren’t quite as socially active as Jenny probably wants to be, but we’re doing OK and both happy with the balance we’ve found.

Some couples are both extroverts or both introverts. Others are opposite from us with an outgoing guy and an introverted girl. What’s the situation for you and your significant other? How do you handle socializing in a way that makes both sides feel respected, happy, and comfortable?

Happy Ninth Anniversary, Jenny!

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Nine years ago today, Jenny and I promised to spend the rest of our lives together. I can’t speak for her, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Over the years, I’ve gotten to see her in a variety of roles – wife, hardworking student, supportive family member, outstanding coworker at Southwest and CARES, loyal friend, and devoted mother. In every one, through all the years, her best qualities have never dimmed. Here are a few of them:

  • Extraordinary patience – I’m not the easiest person to live with by any stretch of the imagination, and together we have created two little boys who are wonderful but sometimes…um…difficult. She puts up with all three of her boys, handles our drama, and somehow manages to keep a smile on her face most of the time.
  • Big heart – Those of you who know her already know that Jenny gives and gives and gives and expects little in return. She willingly sacrifices her own comfort, possessions, and time to help someone else.
  • Silliness – She doesn’t take herself too seriously and cherishes the funny things of life – Muppets, the bizarre proclamations of Brenden that force us to avoid eye contact with each other, even Mr. Hankey. Her silliness helps everyone around her relax and be more themselves.
  • Brains – She doesn’t flaunt her intelligence or try to belittle you with it, but Jenny has a ton going on upstairs. She embraces her inner nerd, and I love her for it. Did you know she got accepted to Harvard?

I don’t tell her nearly often enough, but I’m so blessed to have Jenny as my wife. Those of you who know her understand why.

I love you so much, Jenny. Thank you for saying yes and meaning it.

25 Days of Christmas 2011

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Now that the boys are a little older (remember that Jonathan was only 11 months on Christmas Day last year?) and more capable of doing things, Jenny is putting together the 2011 Box Family Advent Calendar of Greatness. In layman’s terms, she’s planning a fun Christmas-related event each day in December through the 25th. In the Advent Conspiracy tradition, we’re trying to keep the Christmas season focused on Jesus, giving, and family rather than stuff for ourselves. Here are some of the highlights so far:

  • Nov 30 – Put up the tree as a surprise after the boys go to bed. Brenden has requested the big tree this year rather than the 4.5′ tree we used last year when Jonathan was a baby.
  • Early Dec – Take the boys shopping for our Salvation Army angels. We try to adopt angels that are near the boys’ age, and this year we’ll get their input regarding which clothes and toys to choose.
  • Dec 3 – Make Christmas cookies with my mom, sister, and her kids at my mom’s house like Lisa and I did as kids
  • Dec 10 – Instead of exchanging gifts among the adults, Jenny’s side of the family is visiting the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History together and having dinner afterward – experience over stuff.
  • Various – Drive around looking at Christmas lights, watch one or more Christmas movies, do other etc.
  • Mid Dec – Bake something tasty with Jenny’s parents and take it to her grandfather in his nursing home
  • Dec 21 – Dallas Jingle Bell Run as a family
  • Dec 24 – Christmas Eve service at Irving Bible Church

Plus we’ll get together for Christmas dinner with my immediate family and my dad’s family in Wichita Falls. It will be a busy month, but we’re excited about the festivities, and I think the boys will have a blast.

What are your plans for next month?

Happy Birthday, Jenny!

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Happy birthday to my wonderful wife! Thank you for all the many things you do every day to take care of our family. You rock! We love you so much and hope you have a fabulous day.

Partner Yoga

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For Valentine’s Day, Jenny and I took a partner yoga class at her gym on Sunday. We both enjoy yoga and do it together at home sometimes, so we thought this class would be fun. I was expecting a traditional yoga class with some extra partner-assisted stretches, which would have been great. But what we got was different and even better. The class was mostly partner-oriented balance poses in which one partner supports the other in various ways. We had a blast! Afterward we enjoyed cheese, wine, and chocolate-covered strawberries.

Our instructor took this picture of us doing one of the poses. Do not try this at home, folks. We are professionals.