We had our first sonogram today. Despite all the positive tests and changes in Jenny, it still didn’t seem totally real before today, almost like a very long dream that would end any minute once the alarm clock went off. But now we have visual confirmation that BB does indeed exist and is growing. I was surprised at how strong the heartbeat was. There appears to be only one baby. I was halfway hoping for twins since they’re more efficient, but having just one is less risky. =) Check the BB page for a scan of the sonogram.
Category Archives: Brenden
The “finding out” story – a guest blog
So, everyone immediately asks us “how did you find out?” when we tell them about BabyBox being on the way. And my response of “at the chiropractor” usually makes them look at me funny, so I thought I’d share the whole thing.
Background story: Andy and I decided this fall that adoption was the path for us. So I stopped keeping track of all the details of my cycle, like what day I was on and when I would ovulate. Before then, if you asked me on any given day what day I was on, I could give you down to the hour what was going on. November was the very first month that I had no clue what was going on because I purposefully put it out of my head.
So, when a month came and went, I didn’t really have an idea what day I was on. Andy had asked me if I was late, and I said “probably – but I’m sure it’s just stress. I’ll test next week if I haven’t started.”
Anyway, on with the story: I had gone the week before to start treatment at Parker chiropractic college because I have screwed up my neck somehow. We went over the full medical history including all the infertility stuff, and he said to come back in on Wednesday to start treatment. Well, wednesday he called, and the lab was closed for the rest of the week. I think they were doing testing for new students. So we recheduled for Monday.
Saturday was my yearly ornament exchange, and the ornament I nearly ended up with was a “baby’s first christmas” one – which I wasn’t too bothered by, but a few of my family members nearly had a heart attack. I was thinking it would be more useful next Christmas, since we were adopting, you see. My mother in law stole it from me so I didn’t have to keep it.
Monday I went in to the Chiro, Jeb – he cracks me up. He sounds like a surfer and thought my heel pain was “awesome”. He said that we needed to do some xrays to check out my neck and lower back before we started treatment, but that we needed to do a preg test first if I hadn’t started my cycle recently. He asked the date of my last period, and I had to sit and think for a minute.
“The 29th?”
“Of November?”
“No, of October.”
He took me to the lab to pee in a cup. The entire time I’m all nonchalant, thinking that this is sort of silly because there’s NO WAY I could be pregnant. We’re adopting, you see! God has closed that door!
After doing the deed, which is always awkward, (They give you really big cups! What do they think I am, a horse?) I went back to the little room to wait. Jeb came by and said we needed to go do xrays, so I assumed the test was negative. As we went down the hallway, he said we needed to stop by and pick up my paperwork at the lab. As we pick it up, he hands it to me and says, “Wanna see the results?”
I looked at the paperwork, and in big, highlighted letters, it said:
Positive.
WHA?
A full minute of silence follows as I try to wrap my head around what positive means. Positively not pregnant? Positive you can go do xrays?
“OH CRAP THAT SAYS POSITIVE!”
Jeb starts laughing. The nurse starts laughing. She asks if I want to see the test. I’m trying (unsuccessfully) to explain that there’s NO WAY that can be positive because we’ve been doing this for two years and what the heck? She hands me a test that is as positive as it can be.
Then the hugging starts. I still don’t know the nurse’s name, but she was really nice. She said they tried for four years before they got pregnant, and I think I made Jeb’s year. How often does a chiro get to give that kind of news?
I drove home about to burst and walked into an empty house. Andy had gone grocery shopping and was being all responsible and stuff. I’ll have to let him tell that side of the story from his point of view.
What I’ve Learned So Far
We’ve known we are pregnant for almost a week now. I’ve learned/confirmed a lot so far, including:
- Weird things happen to a woman’s body when she gets pregnant. I’d read that women feel “different” in ways they can’t explain. I was hoping MY wife, the brilliant woman that she is, would be able to explain it, but she can’t. She does, however, have bouts of SuperNose. At a luncheon this week, in a room full of the smells of various cooked meats, she could smell the salad. Apparently salad has a smell. It’s also amazing how a baby the size of a grain of rice can make a woman so tired AND hungry.
- As expected, everyone has their own ideas about what pregnant women should or should not do and theories about how to predict the baby’s gender or how many babies will emerge. Sample prohbitions include alcohol, exercise, lunch meat, sushi, sex, lifting anything weighing more than 8 ounces, traveling, and getting out of bed altogether. Some people claim multiple births follow your mother’s side or father’s side or skip a generation every time. Some say if you’re carrying low, you’re having a boy. Many believe that raising a woman’s arms overhead will wrap the umbillical cord around the baby’s neck, as if the arm bones and cord were connected somehow. Google pregnancy myths and see what you find. Generally all this advice is something the advisor “heard” somewhere, or is based on a single instance that the advisor is extrapolating into a Law of Pregnancy. Some of these ideas have medical validity. Many are utter hogwash. The amount of misinformation, and contradictory information from seemingly reputable sources, is amazing. I do my best to smile politely, but I am a skeptic about anything I hear other than your personal experience, which I would LOVE to hear about. I want to be a good BabyDaddy and appreciate help as long as it’s accurate! Leave comments if you have any advice.
- Pretty much everyone, even our friends who can’t stand children, gets excited when they hear about a new baby on the way. In our case, some of the excitement results from our long journey toward these happy days. But even people who don’t know how hard it’s been for us still rejoice. I like to think it’s because they believe we’ll be good parents, but the truth is probably much simpler: babies are hope for the future. Imagine a world that had no babies, like in the movie Children of Men that I mentioned several weeks ago. The human race would be maybe 80-100 years from extinction. Through babies, we combine two different lineages into a new life that will (we hope) live on after we have left this world. They are also a clean slate. Despite their inherent propensity toward sin, they still have an innocence that they will never regain. They haven’t made all the mistakes that we’ve made or been through the pain we’ve endured. They also have a tremendous amount of potential. All the “grownups” around them wistfully speculate about who they’ll become, but only God knows for sure. They’re like Christmas presents that take a lifetime to unwrap.
New Page for Baby Box
You knew this was coming! I added an official Baby Box page. I’ll post big news on my blog, but since some of my readers might be interested in other topics as well, for now I’ll put most of the baby news on the baby page. I found an awesome due-date countdown widget that shows what week we’re on, a diagram of the baby, and a link to more details regarding what the baby is up to development-wise. Enjoy!