“The clock, not the steam engine, is the key machine of the modern industrial age.” — Juliet Schor
Category Archives: Social Issues
Poop
I don’t like poop.
It’s gross. It’s terribly inconvenient. It’s unavoidable. It’s never-ending. It’s unpleasant. It’s embarrassing. It wastes time and water. And don’t get me started on the furry critters who live in our home. They poop, too, and not always where they’re supposed to. For many years I tried not to think about it. A like-minded female friend of mine denies that ladies ever do it. I generally did my best to avoid it.
And then I had children.
Now poop is everywhere. Well, not literally everywhere. Yet. But it’s a very strange thing to be so concerned with the pooping habits of other human beings. When the boys were newborns, we tracked how often they pooped. And the color of the poop. Later Brenden helped us with a diaper study that required us to save his used diapers in individually sealed bags and then deliver them in a giant nasty bag to an office in Dallas, along with recording whether they leaked poop or not. Sometimes their normal diapers leak, too. One time Brenden pooped while I was changing his diaper, possibly the lowlight of my entire life.
Now we’re starting to potty-train Brenden. It’s mind-bogglingly humbling to sit another human being on a toilet and encourage him to poop. I cringe when I think about the future, when he is successful, and I must praise him for pooping. Are you kidding me??
Why did God make us have to poop? Couldn’t there be another way? Think about it. Remember that Mr. Fusion thing from Back to the Future II, the amazing device that could convert everyday trash into enough fuel to power a time machine? Why can’t we work like that? Why can’t we be perfectly efficient furnaces that convert every last molecule of food and drink into usable energy? No mess. No fuss. No sewage-related diseases. No shuffle of shame when you forget to check for TP before ascending the throne. No courtesy flushes, blowouts, liferafts, carefully timed fake coughs, or Poo-pourri.
What a wonderful world this could be.
But until God sees the wisdom of my plan, I guess we’re stuck. I will continue to perform my fatherly duties of keeping my sons as poop-free as possible, all the while praying for a potty-training miracle. Sweet holy moly.
Three Types of Parents
Another interesting tidbit from our Love and Logic course is a group of three types of parents to consider:
Helicopter – This type of parent hovers over their children like a helicopter. They search for any possible threat and eagerly swoop in to rescue them at the first hint of danger, problems, negative feelings, or risk of failure. They tend to assume ownership of their children’s problems and to protect their children from natural consequences of their actions.
Drill Sergeant – As the name implies, this type of parent “commands and directs the lives” of their children with numerous demands, harsh words, and threats. They tend to tell their children how to feel and how to act in a given situation, work in absolutes, and use lots of words with few actions.
Consultant – This type of parent provides guidance regarding choices and their consequences, seeking to empower their children to make their own decisions and solve their own problems. They model desired behavior, preferring to use actions to teach rather than lots of words. They are willing to let their children fail in order to learn. One of the Consultant’s goals is to give their children a positive self-worth through life experience.
As you’ve probably guessed, Love and Logic favors the Consultant style of parenting. Although at first it might sound like coddling that will give kids an overinflated ego, to me it’s the best of the three. It always keeps in mind the child’s eventual departure from the nest and seeks to prepare them for independence.
Which of the three approaches, if any, reminds you of your parents? If you have children, which approach best matches your own thoughts? Is there another style besides these three?
Thoughts on Garage Sales
We are planning a garage sale for Friday and Saturday. If you’re into that sort of thing, come on over and clean us out. This should be a decent sale. Along with us, Jenny’s parents and sister and some of our friends are selling furniture, light fixtures, clothes, baby stuff, and other assorted things.
Some people love garage sales. Others hate them. I have mixed emotions:
LIKE:
- Reduce/reuse/recycle. Instead of tossing an unwanted item into a landfill, you can let someone else use it for another few months or even years. Stuff stays out of the landfill for a while longer, and the buyer doesn’t need to buy a new item (yet). Very green. You might as well plant a tree outside your garage and give it a hug. Maybe we could sell some this weekend.
- As a seller, instead of throwing something away for free, you can obviously get money instead. You won’t get rich, but small money > no money.
- As a buyer, you can get stuff you need or want for MUCH cheaper. Garage sales are great for kids’ stuff such as toys and clothes that have a high turnover rate.
- They are a great motivator for you and your people to declutter their homes. Just tell your people you’re hosting a garage sale, and they’ll get busy digging up stuff. Some of them don’t even want the proceeds; they’re just happy to get rid of their stuff.
DISLIKE:
- Garage salers, if that’s the correct term, often expect to negotiate. Some LOVE and DEMAND to negotiate, even if you’ve already tagged an item with an extremely low price. Jenny’s mom is a pro. That’s why I’m glad she’s coming over to help run the sale. She will make sure we don’t get hosed. I HATE negotiating and have volunteered to
hidewatch the boys instead. - For reasons I fail to understand, many cities require you to get a permit for the garage sale. Seriously?
- As a buyer, you never know what you’re going to find. Advertised items might be gone by the time you arrive. The sale might offer nothing but thirty-year-old yellow vases and dusty eight-tracks. When I buy something, I research it nonstop for three years and then buy the EXACT thing I want, generally online. However, for the hardcore garage salers, the unknown-ness is part of the fun, transforming the trip from a mundane excursion into a treasure hunt. You never know when that beaten-up table you buy for $10 might be a 1780 Federalist end table worth tens of thousands.
Bottom line: come to our house Friday or Saturday with a wad of cash and a trailer. We might have a treasure that you never knew you needed!
Honesty
During my freshman year at Baylor, I answered a phone call from a girl who wanted to talk to my roommate. He didn’t want to talk to her for some reason, so he told me to tell her he wasn’t there.
“I’m not going to lie for you, dude,” I told him.
He was shocked, as if no one had ever told him that before. I was a bit shocked myself. No one had ever asked me that before.
I’d be lying (ha!) if I said I’d never lied before, but it’s been rare. I try hard to tell the truth and expect others to do the same. If I catch you lying to me or to someone else, even if you think you’re doing me a favor, I lose respect for you. Honesty is not a matter of convenience.
A friend of mine was scheduled to work this morning, but this person told me in advance that they planned to call in “sick” today because family was in town. I rarely confront people, especially in person, when I disagree with something they’re doing, and I didn’t say anything. However, due to sick calls and other issues, today we had several open shifts at work that needed to be covered via overtime. We used up all the people who had volunteered for overtime but still had one morning shift open. The superintendents called every legal person who hadn’t signed up. No one took the shift, and the desk remains uncovered. This is very rare. Guess which desk I’m planning this morning? Yep. So because my friend chose to lie, I have no relief, and a manager has to come in early to reassign the workload from the uncovered desk to other people who chose to be honest and come to work.
After some debate, I emailed this person about what had happened. I wanted them to know that one of the people they hosed was me.
If you always tell the truth, you don’t have to keep all your lies straight. Life is much simpler that way, and less stressful, too. I think Jesus said it best:
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. – John 8:32
Health Care Reform – Issues and Impact
I’m growing tired of the health care debate. Perhaps you are, too. I’m tired of it for two main reasons:
- As with so many issues, many people fear and oppose the current reform bill without understanding it, often based on false information. Some say it allows the government to take over our health care system, which is not the case. Some oppose it simply because they are Republicans and blindly oppose anything supported by the Democrats, which is a cop-out. If you actually understand the bill and have specific, grounded objections to it, I can respect your position. You might be right. But lemminglike rejection or acceptance of any proposal based on party affiliation or unfounded assumptions does not serve anyone well.
- They still haven’t reformed health care. A bill might pass sometime soon, but it hasn’t happened yet, and the problems with our health care system go on.
The Dallas Morning News wrote a nice summary of Obama’s latest proposal. It’s toward the bottom of the page.
In my view, although it doesn’t solve every problem and is extremely expensive, I like Obama’s plan because it helps address some of the biggest problems with our current system:
- When you start a new policy due to a job change or other reason, insurance companies can deny you coverage for a preexisting condition, such as cancer or even pregnancy. That should be criminal.
- At least 30 million people are uninsured, including millions of children, due largely to the high cost of coverage. We have friends who don’t have insurance and have to pay out-of-pocket for any health expenses. We hope they never get into a car wreck, get sick, or get pregnant unexpectedly because it might destroy them financially.
- There are limited ways to get decent insurance coverage: work for a large company or organization, serve in the military, live long enough to get Medicare, pay ridiculous amounts of money for it, or serve in Congress. Jenny and I are blessed with great insurance through Southwest. My parents, on the other hand, are self-employed. Their premiums and deductible are huge, but their coverage is lousy. People who choose to work for themselves or for small businesses should have access to good coverage at an affordable price. People shouldn’t be afraid to go to the doctor when they are sick or injured.
I believe everyone deserves quality health care.
If you trust them (don’t laugh, it’s worth a look), the White House put together a webpage that tries to explain the Obama proposal’s impact on you based on your situation. The bill will have little impact on me and Jenny, but I believe it will help some of you.
If the Republicans can work up a plan that will fix health care, I’d love to hear it. I hate all political parties and have no particular affiliation with the Democrats, despite my support for Obama. But I haven’t seen a comprehensive counter-proposal from the Republicans, mainly lots of objections instead. I do like their goal of limiting medical malpractice liability as a way to cut health-care costs. Let’s put the best ideas together from all sides and get this thing done.