I don’t have as much time to blog these days, as you’ve probably noticed, but I have a chance tonight. Life with two boys under two is about what we had expected: exciting and fun but difficult at times. Since Jonathan is such a well-mannered and healthy baby, it seems a bit easier than I had expected. However, both of us are very tired – Jenny because she gets woken up throughout the night, me because I spend much of my day taking care of Brenden and then insist on staying up too late so I can have some man-cave time. <\/p>\n
I got to thinking about babies over the past several days. Although very cute, they are extremely unproductive (except for diapers) and completely dependent on others for survival. Compared to their caretakers, they have very little understanding of the world and how it works. Their world revolves around a few simple needs: milk, sleep, love, clean diapers, and shelter. As a parent, I know so much more about life and have so much to give my newborn son, but he isn’t ready to take it all in yet. For example, I watched the Colts-Jets game with him and tried to tell him about how great Peyton Manning is, and how he might never remember getting to see Manning play, but he had no clue. I have to remember that he and I are on completely different levels, so I must be very patient and try to help him in ways that he can handle.<\/p>\n
I’ll bet that to God, I look the same way that my newborn son looks to me. Despite all I’ve seen, learned, and done in my 31 years, I still understand only a tiny fraction of God’s universe. He and I are on completely different levels, so He must be very patient with me as I fumble through my few short years here. Sometimes I do things that seem perfectly reasonable to me but make God shake His head. Maybe He sighs. Maybe He laughs like we do at Brenden every day. He remains patient with me and tries to help me in ways that I can handle. And I love Him for it. <\/p>\n
Long before I ever became a father or even married Jenny, I explored these two relationships in a poem called “Helpless”. I included it on my Recent Poetry<\/a> page, but I’ll repost it here for convenience in case you’re a poetry buff.<\/p>\n Helpless<\/strong> I am a baby in your arms Helpless I lie on your breast I don’t have as much time to blog these days, as you’ve probably noticed, but I have a chance tonight. Life with two boys under two is about what we had expected: exciting and fun but difficult at times. Since … Continue reading
\n10-29-01<\/p>\n
\nSquishy and fussy and squirming
\nfor my eyes are too small to see.<\/p>\n
\nHaving nothing I gained on my own
\nAnd yet fighting with every small ounce of my strength
\nThinking I could do better alone.
\nYou patiently smile when I kick you
\nDon\u2019t get mad when I will not obey
\nWhen I find I don\u2019t have all the answers
\nWe sit down and you show me the way.
\nWhy do you love when I cry all night
\nAnd keep you awake with my screams?
\nWhy do you rock me and kiss my face
\nAnd make me believe in my dreams?
\nEvery time I soil myself again
\nYou pick me up and tell me it\u2019s okay
\nAlthough it\u2019s always hard on you and me
\nSomehow you know I\u2019m going to learn someday.
\nI know not, Daddy, what I do
\nI spill my milk, I scratch my face
\nI scribble on my nursery walls
\nThick marks I can\u2019t erase.
\nBut somehow Daddy\u2019s love is greater
\nThan the promise I can\u2019t keep
\nAnd still you\u2019re with me, safe and strong
\nAnd finally, in your arms, I sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"