{"id":81,"date":"2007-09-30T22:29:12","date_gmt":"2007-10-01T03:29:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.andybox.com\/?page_id=81"},"modified":"2007-09-30T22:29:12","modified_gmt":"2007-10-01T03:29:12","slug":"early-poetry","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/?page_id=81","title":{"rendered":"Early Poetry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Window (in the dark)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Questions pondered in the night
\nWonder if I have the right
\nWhy the new one makes me smile
\nToday I talked to her awhile
\nI love the one I’ve loved so long
\nBut some love starves, the pull so strong
\nI try to flee the new and different life
\nwith one I should not have
\nSometimes I’d like to end the love
\nAnd wonder why it goes so long
\nWhat do I want, as life sails by?
\nAnd still I ask, “Is love lost wrong?”
\nDo feelings change? Has this love died?
\nLove flies off to the mountainside
\nIs it real, a dream, a lie?<\/p>\n

Beyond the window dark lies a girl
\nI should not have
\nA test, or a curve in the journey of love.<\/p>\n

The Mask<\/strong><\/p>\n

i started acting long before the others knew i could,
\nbut now the lights of my stage have faded, for i have moved on
\nand there is no more glory now,
\nin this time when there is a need.
\ni walk out to the sidewalk where i stand and wait alone
\ncars drive past, i smile and wave
\ntheir return is my one reward
\nclouds drift over my head
\nwinds rustle the leaves behind my lonely heart
\nand no one knows but me
\nhow rare, how strange the days my heart grows lonely.
\nupon an ordinary day my heart flies light and free
\nmy smiles are real, my greetings true
\nmy humble world lies bathing in the warm love of the Lord
\nand i wear no mask.
\ni think back to days gone by, to days in which
\nmy sun would never fall
\nwhere friends and children danced around me
\nand i didn\u2019t always have to be the friendly one,
\nfor people came to walk with me
\nand talk with me
\nand my fears could almost get away
\nand on those days, i wore no mask
\nfor my face was smiling on its own.
\nbut now those days have passed away
\nmy glory gathers dust that glows in the sun
\nas it falls upon my troubled feet
\nthose that danced with me are in their own worlds
\nthose that walked with me i do not see
\nand this is how it always is in summer
\nexcept this one is the last one of its kind
\nfor once i go away i can\u2019t come home again
\nsoon my world will grow and leave them all behind.
\ni\u2019ll keep on walking till i reach a new place i have barely seen
\nwhere no one knows my name
\nand no one dances when i speak
\nor cares about the trophies on the wall
\nfor they\u2019ll mean nothing anymore.
\ni\u2019ll carry nothing but my memories
\nmy dreams
\nand my mask
\nbecause i\u2019ll need it
\njust in case
\ni remain alone
\npart of me begs for the pity of the world
\nthat would come if i removed my mask
\nand showed them this odd emptiness
\nthat lurks so seldom, but too often
\nin the softness of my soul
\nbut i won\u2019t burden them with my world
\ni will show them the deepest corner of my heart
\nthe one whose smiles never fade
\nthe one whose love never dies
\nfor that, through all the pain, the masks, the joy, the struggle,
\nthe agony, the glory, the sorrow, the confusion, the love,
\nthat is who i really am<\/p>\n

so maybe i\u2019m not really acting after all.<\/p>\n

Forest<\/strong><\/p>\n

explain the silhouettes to me
\ni’m crying in the moonlight
\nlost
\nin the middle of the forest where no one knows a thing
\nthe moon above makes shadows with the trees
\nand i am lost
\nthe shadows dance and taunt me
\ntempt me with their bed that i may sleep again
\ni have but one companion–i wanted her to stay
\nshe can help
\nthrough the catching-thorns
\nwhen i am lost
\nso many paths the others took still lie
\nbeaten with confident wanderer feet
\nwhere do You want me to go?
\ni wait for Thy command
\nas i am lost
\nin the forest of shadows
\nand nowhere places
\nand silence.<\/p>\n

The Neighbors Think I’m Crazy<\/strong><\/p>\n

The neighbors think I’m crazy
\nI skip naked through the streets
\nThey look at me funny when
\nI plant my yard with wheats.<\/p>\n

I like to play the reggae
\nAnd dance atop my roof
\nThey come and throw their rocks at me
\n“Get down from there! You’re such a goof!”<\/p>\n

I sing and laugh and sleep outside
\nWithin a tent made out of foam
\nKids pelter me with BB’s
\nAnd they throw eggs at my home.<\/p>\n

They painted “retard” on my door
\nAnd then they ran away
\nI get out my trusty bubbles
\nMaybe soon they’ll come and play.<\/p>\n

I read inside my swimming pool
\nThat’s filled only with air
\nBut they pour gasoline inside
\nAnd light it once I’m there.<\/p>\n

I’m going to move away to where
\nThe people think I’m sane
\nThe doctors there will help me
\nAnd my neighbors will remain.<\/p>\n

Arizona<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your life was but an instant
\nEven when compared with mine
\nYou wandered lost, alone, and now
\nYou’re buried in the sands of time.
\nYour desert is so far away
\nBut still I heard you when you cried
\nEvery day I felt the pain
\nAnd life’s too short to say goodbye.
\nSo once you left, you flew away
\nTo finally rest in peace?
\nI pray that you, my friend, can hear
\nThe silence in the streets.
\nWas this what you wanted?
\nWas it just a quick escape?
\nYou sold your body to the ground
\nIn an eternal rape
\nNo matter what, God loves you still,
\nI hope you’re safe at home,
\nAnd if not, I’m still your friend
\nYou’ll never be alone. <\/p>\n

Silhouette<\/strong><\/p>\n

I lead my feet down the middle of the road
\nIn a small town with dirt for concrete
\nJust passing through, hoping for refuge
\nA place to rest.
\nMy feet cry out in agony
\nSo I stomp them on the ground
\nand dust flies.
\nThe townspeople watch through the local windows
\nScratching their heads, puzzled
\nThey grip their guns,
\nAnxious
\nNo refuge in this town, I see…
\nI leave and block out part of their sun along the way
\nWith my mangy-looking body
\nA shrinking black shape on the horizon
\nThey don’t know me, and yet they judge?
\nThey don’t know why I came
\nThe outline is what they remember…
\nthe shadows…
\nthe darkness.<\/p>\n

The silhouette is all they see
\nAn outline of what I must be
\nBut who I am they’ll never know
\nFor once I came, I had to go.<\/p>\n

Suspicion<\/strong><\/p>\n

High tide in the grass
\nI think I’ll take a walk
\nDodge the limbs around me
\nTrip upon the curb
\nWhenever I go out
\nA man, he walks behind
\nI try to be alone
\nBut someone follows me.
\nHe stays a way away
\nBut sees my every step
\nHe knows I’m gonna die
\nPerhaps he’s gonna help
\nI’ll bet he has a gun
\nHe’ll stick me in the back
\nGo put on shiny clothes
\nCan’t see you in the dark
\nSomehow I hear his breathing
\nHe could be close at hand
\nI turn to look behind me
\nNo one to be found.<\/p>\n

Beg For More<\/strong><\/p>\n

Passion green and flowing colors
\nBreathing silent in the wind
\nBlowing, feeling, sighing, kneeling
\nRipped apart by love again.
\nBeyond the realm of sight
\nBeyond the realm of reason
\nBeyond the outward calm we see,
\nHis heart is in her hands
\nand hanging from her teeth.
\nHis heart was all she had
\nAnd all she had been given.
\nSo soon the lover, quick to starve,
\nAte of his heart, and killed the man
\nWho just before had shown her love.
\nSo, so quick to die
\nThe bitterness of man who’s lost his soul,
\nGave up too much to one he couldn’t trust
\nGave up his heart to one who would devour
\nAnd beg for more.<\/p>\n

Oceans<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tonight he looked at you with hunger in his eyes
\nSometimes love is like a bottle on the beach
\nA blessing from a distant brilliant world,
\nPicked up one day and swept away once more
\nBy the coming of the winds
\nand the sea
\nI wait beside the shore and wonder
\nhow long you’re going to love me,
\nHow much more time we have until the day
\nYou wave goodbye and float away upon the water
\nof another man’s dream
\nI can’t believe you love me…
\nOh, what I’d give for you to stay with me until I die
\nBut you’re not mine; you’re free to leave
\nIf your tender heart so desires.
\nI’d rather see you happy with another
\nthan miserable with me
\nI reach out afraid–
\nThe ocean goes on forever and sleeps beneath the sun.<\/p>\n

I can’t believe you love me.<\/p>\n

Share Our Lives<\/strong><\/p>\n

conversation when alone
\nso worthless in my head
\ntalk to my blue screen
\ncan’t hear a word I said
\nhow much I miss the times
\nwhen we would talk all night
\nI guess you just got bored
\nso lonesome in my plight
\ncan’t change the way I am
\nbut do you want me to?
\nwe used to share our lives
\nI’m lonely without you
\nwhy won’t you talk to me?
\nI’m dull, but I’m still here
\nwith so few words to say
\nI need a listening ear
\nsomeone who understands
\nsomeone who seems to care
\nso much I’d like to know and tell
\nI call, but you aren’t there
\nyou always have to go
\nso slighted then I feel
\nplease let us talk sometimes
\nmy love for you is real
\npreserve my soul in rhyme
\nthat’s all I’ve left to do
\nreleasing how I feel
\nI scribble, “I love you.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Window (in the dark) Questions pondered in the night Wonder if I have the right Why the new one makes me smile Today I talked to her awhile I love the one I’ve loved so long But some love starves, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":67,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/81"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/81\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/67"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.andybox.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}